This past Sunday in the New York Times, writer Sarah Kershaw wrote an article about the great cupcake debate. You’re welcome to read the article here, or I can sumarize it for you below, and follow up with my opinion on this matter.
Basically, the United States is at war. We’re at war with cupcakes, along with the high calories, high sugar and fat contents, and low nutritional values they bring to the table. Remember in elementary school your mom baked cupcakes for you to take to school to share with your classmates on your birthday? Those days are quickly becoming a relic of the 1980s and 1990s because parents have a pressing concern (as they well should!) with childhood obesity. PTAs are quickly jumping on the bandwagon of forbidding entry of cupcakes (along with other sweets) into their schools.
But before you break out the veggie tray in the classroom, there are some people who oppose this terrorism of the cupcake. What are a few empty calories if you get to enjoy this delectable treat that brings a note of happiness with each bite, along with fond memories of baking with mom? And then comes the biggest argument: It’s just a cupcake. Big deal.
Do I feel that childhood obesity is (literally and figuratively) a growing problem? Absolutely. But in this instance, I’m going to have to side with the cupcakes. First off, what mother wants to make enough cupcakes that each student in her child’s classroom gets two or more sweets? I mean, really, the Mom, Version U.B.C. (Ultimate Betty Crocker) is disappearing faster than cookies at a fat camp. Americans are becoming increasingly lazy. And I really can’t imagine that one silly little piece of cake with a dollop of frosting is going to make or break a child’s fight against the fat.
However, it’s when that kid gets home and absolutely gorges on ice cream and chicken nuggets that the whole obesity thing comes into play. Parents who are complaining that cupcakes in the classroom makes your kids fat: stop buying frozen pizza rolls for dinner and actually try cooking for once! You’d be amazed what a little elbow grease and a stove and/or oven can do. And stop buying your kids every damn video game that comes out, and instead teach them the beauty in low-tech games such as Kick the Can, Hide and Go Seek, Duck Duck Goose, Tag, Kickball, or any other mainly-outside game that involves them actually moving extremities other than their thumbs and forefingers on a video game controller. Teach your kids how to ride a bike (helmets, please!), take them to the park for some good old-fashioned monkey bar swinging, or teach them how to throw and catch a baseball. Oh, and on that bike comment I just made? Powerwheels don’t count. If the kid ain’t Flinstoning it, it ain’t real exercise.
So before all you Yuppies of America launch this attack on the good old American tradition known as the cupcake, take a good hard look at your life. I don’t want to hear you bitching and blaming someone else for making your kid obese.
GO CUPCAKES!!!!!
(oh, and an afterthought that is both completely related and simultaneously not at all related.. don’t make cupcakes using ice cream cones. As good an idea it sounded, and as good as it tasted fresh out of the oven, the mushy, moist goodness of the cake made mushy, moist cake cones within a matter of hours. This just did not appeal to me.)
I love kick the can!